New Year - New start, New Challenges

Well here we are, a New Year and, for me, a new mindset.. I have decided this is going to be the year I set myself challenges - push myself out of my comfort zone. I've been resting on my laurels for two years and I've become fat and lazy so ~ here's to 2018 and my self imposed challenges! 

Challenge 1 = A square a day for blankets the homeless, I'm currently reckoning it'll take about 91 squares (6"x 6") to make a blanket, so I should end up with four blankets for the homeless by the end of the year. This teaches me patience and gives me an objective to meet. 

Challenge 2 = embark on CALS, this stretches my skills and teaches me, not only new stitches, but teaches me patience (as I struggle with elements of them) but will also give me confidence as the CALS are very beautiful and are something I've never considered doing before. I have cheated a little on this one as I've already started one, but that just means I'm ahead of myself ~ always a good place to be.

Challenge 3  = this one's a bit of a double whammy because it's not only about me making sellable products, but it's also pushing me out of my comfort zone because I'm putting my work out into the world, open for criticism, I'm going to be sellng my products online and (more importantly,  at craft fairs throughout the year. 

So, there you have it. My three challenges this year ~ I'm determined to pull myself out of my rut and come back kicking and fighting. If I meet these challenges easily - I might up the ante and increase the challenges, if I struggle, well, that's the whole point of a challenge isn't it? 

New beginnings

I decided I needed to do something about my weight. I am not going to diet, that is absolutely and definitely not going to happen.
I met up with an old friend and, while it was lovely to finally meet up with him, I felt so ashamed - ashamed at my dire financial state, ashamed of my weight, ashamed of being so unconfident, ashamed of my nails, whatever! I was ashamed of every aspect of my life and that blighted our few hours together.
At the weekend I sat and thought through the situation and, I think for the first time, started to plan my future.
The plan so far is for me to:
- up the promotion of all of my retail avenues.
- improve Network Marketing.
- attend regular Car boot Sales
- photograph items for sale online
- attend Craft Fairs
- Take on Avon catalogues
- increase Craft sales.
- cut down on food consumption

It's not going to be easy, just putting myself out there is taking myself out of my comfort zone, but I'm going to do it - things have got to change and I just have to face my fears.
Sunday I attended my first Craft Fair - was a nervous wreck upon arrival, convinced everyone else's work was better than my own but, with costs covered, I came away with the grand total of £3.50 profit - better than nothing! Confidence boosted, I'm now making a blanket for a bespoke order that I recieved from posting news of the fair online (YES!)
Yesterday I started with my new eating plan. As I've mentioned before, I refuse to diet - I need an eating programme so, with that in mind, I ate nothing throughout the day, drinking just tea, coffee and warm water. Come the evening, I cooked a quorn curry - plating up with rice for Neil, and saving a bowl of curry (without rice) aside for me. I had a cheese and red pepper sandwich and two stuffing balls with a small bowl of apple & blackberry crumble.

Day 2 has just gone ~ Started my day with a mug of warm water. I had the bowl of Quorn curry I cooked last night for a sort of brunch. I couldn't be bothered to cook any rice. I have allowed myself a latte from McDonalds (because it's free) Dinner was a Tuna, mayo and sweetcorn sandwich with a mini magnum. I'm looking forward to seeing if my efforts make a difference and, if they do, how soon it'll start showing. 

Breaking out into the Craft Fair World

I'm so thrilled, I've just attended my very first Craft fair. There were 8 tables set up - so pleased there was one free as I just turned up unannounced, I bet they were pleased as well. The process took me right out of my comfort zone because I've never put my work out for public perusal. The fair was as important for me to get my face and name known, and to boost my confidence as much as making money.
The attendees were all kind and approachable which was lovely as the nerves had kicked in quite drastically. However, two young ladies were busy looking through my products as I was tipping them out of my bags, I made my first sale quickly - a Snowman phone sock for £1.50

They had picked out a baby hat, but they decided they'd not enough pennies and walked off to the other stalls.
Suddenly remembering I'd abandoned my candles in the back of the car, I disappeared off to fetch them. As I placed them on the table, the two girls returned and chose a candle depicting Father Christmas selling for £2.
Several people meandered past, lots of lovely compliments but very quiet after that, giving me chance to interact with all the crafters there. One lady was of particular interest having just invested in half a dozen Merino sheep with fleece to buy. Of course I'm now desperate to invest in a spinning wheel and carding set up. Neil's going to be impressed lol
Having made another sale of a pair of earrings, I felt justified in allowing myself a cup of tea.
At the end of two hours we all packed up, after table costs and my cup of tea - amounting to £3.50 - I went home having made £3.50 profit. Not the greatest earnings, but it was a start and a successful venture in confidence for me.
Roll on the next fair. 

Desperately seeking that elusive pot of gold

Gosh things have got tough! It seems that our lives are contuously blighted by debt, debt and more debt on top of a huge STINKING pile of debt. Neil has been shopping for the last few weeks with just £13 in his pocket. This week however, It's been different - Neil's car went back to the garage in what is very quickly becoming it's  bi-weekly and very expensive  problem. So we've been reduced to buying just cat food, bread and margarine this week. Ohhh woopiedoo!
However, It's not all doom and gloom, I met up with a friend on Thursday. I've watched his meteoric rise from poverty to huge wealth, just as my personal wealth declines. I am so thrilled to have met him, It's given me the impetus to get going, he gave me the proverbial kick up the backside.
I've come home with a plan to improve my situation. This includes pushing my crafting sales, promoting Bodyshop, increasing my blogging and attending regular carbooting events. I want to raise the funds to enable me to embark on extra training, which in turn will lead to employment.
I'm determined to do it, I need to be more organised if I am to succeed, and I'm determined to succeed because we're so far down - the only way is up!  Signing off for now but I will say to you - watch this space. 

Yes!! It could be me!

Yesterday was incredible not because Neil, DaPlonka (Leila) and I went to the Hilton Hotel (junc 24 on the M1 - ok, so we got a bit lost and came off at Junc 24A and ended up in a quarry - but that's just another story) It wasn't special because Neil and I were being recognised for achieving our 10% in sales (still trying to figure that one out) well it was - I'm not trying to down play the importance of that achievement - a lot of hard work went into it - a LOT! But the thing that made it special for me was the incredible list of speakers, six in total - they were all excellent and incredibly inspiring (and I took notes from all of them on my phone until my alarm, rather embarrasingly, went off at 4.30pm and everyone thought I'd not listened to the "switch off your phone message" at the beginning! It was in FLIGHT MODE!!!honest! It WAS my alarm) anyway, two speakers stood out in my mind, two that I could relate to 100% they were Jennifer Synnott who started in Kleeneze at the beginning of 2015 working it part time around her Executive PA job ( we all know how time consuming PA jobs are!) Who is now Gold Executive!! In just what?! 18 months?! Jennifer took us through her story of redundancy and debt, she told us about ladies she'd got on board, mothers with 3 young children, a young lady who was homeless who is now debbt free and moving into a house of her own soon. Then came Gill Nicholson, now she really inspired me, Kleeneze has been part of her entire life because her father who was working as a fireman at the time - needed extra pennies, so he took up door to door selling (brushes as per Kleeneze beginings) he did ok, was happy but as always, circumstances change. At some point her father decided to work Full time at Kleeneze during a week's holiday, just as an experiment to see what the earning potential was, he made DOUBLE in 1 week what he was earning in 1 month as a fire fighter! No brainer, he ended up running his own Kleeneze business, making Gill a partner later on. Now Gill has literally travelled the world (which is what I find so inspiring) on her Kleeneze income. She's even found lost family members, it was such a beautiful and heart warming story.
I sat in awe, completely inspired thinking - I WISHED I could do that, but also thinking I could never aspire to that, I'll never make it that high. However, it's tomorrow now and the euphoria has worn off, I'm sat here in my lounge in my dressing gown and slippers drinking a cup of coffee and I'm thinking "why NOT me?!" Why can't I expect to be the same? Why is my story going to be any LESS inspirational some day? It's these little negatives that are the enemy - ALL the speakers went through hardship, debt, job loss, despair, negative thinking. At some point in time THEY sat where I was sitting, thinking what I was thinking - so WHY not me?? OF COURSE I'm going to get there and I'm dragging whoever wants to come for the ride with me because MY story, MY life, MY dreams are just as important, just as needed and just as inspirational as the next! Role on to the challenge! I'm up for it! 

My First peruse into the world of Free form Crochet (Scrumbling)

Well! I can hardly be called an exemplary Blogger can I? It's been nigh on  8 months since I last wrote on here - I will endeavour to do better.
I didn't take many photos of my latest project, but I'm very proud of it none the less, I'm currently in to making phone socks, mainly because they're relatively quick and easy to make (well, for the average crafter, not me, because I keep getting side tracked!) I'm absolutely determined to get myself a shelf in the crafter's shop on Burton Road at the top of town. It only costs £25 a month, but when you have no  job and no money, that's a lot of money to find. However, I keep working on it and thought to make the phone socks as a quick fill for the shelf whilst I'm working on larger and more time consuming projects. Seemed like a good idea anyway. I've made a variety of socks and am relatively pleased with the result but, as always, they're none of them actually 100% complete and ready for sale yet. I really must work on my attention span!

Anyway, I was particularly proud of my latest phone sock because I've started tying in different skills that I've been teaching myself - and this particular phone sock was done entirely by SCRUMBLING, or Free form Crochet. I really enjoy this kind of crochet, not least because I have a massive problem with following patterns, I tend to start off reasonably okish and get sidetracked along the way and the next thing I know, I'm completely fobbing it! So free form suits because there are no rules to follow, absolutely perfect for me - but I don't have much imagination, so it's still a pretty hard process for me.

Unfortunately there are no photos to show - other than the end result because I didn't think to write a blog about it, however, I shall try to do better next time.

I started off with a small piece of green wool from  my oddments bag and started practising with the Bullion Stitch, I love it - but haven't really ever got the hang of it, now this is where scrumbling really comes into it's own, because you're not following a pattern, so you can just do as many or as few stitches as you like. My practice piece was 13 bullion stitches long and curved off to the left slightly - that was as far as my attention span took me, so then I got bored and started to add several stitches into one stitch, kept this up for a while to develop a nice little wave. I then moved onto scarlet wool and double (UK triple) stitch except I was doing the chainless double foundation stitch, did enough of those to have a nice curve that allowed me to make a full circle and tail which, rather fantastically seemed to flow nicely from the green Bullion curve - at that point I decided I had to do something with it, and ended up drawing around my phone to get a  rectangular base to put my scrumbled pieces on. From that moment forward - I was making a phone case.  Grabbing a lilac, I did yet more Bullion stitches, was back on track with my practice by then, (but only briefly, 13 stitches seems to be my limit) did a bit of a chain and made some shell like curves and moved onto dark purple. Tried a bit of lattice stitch and a rectangle of (US) treble (UK) double. Another frilly effort around the base and corner of the phone sock, with a smidgen of scarlet on the top side. Then I had a go at making little puffs, I just stitched in a round from a base of two chains, and kept going round until it was big enough for me (about three rounds) then I started pulling it in by missing a couple of stitches - and the next thing I knew, I had three beautiful puffs!

I played around with my scrumbled pieces and chose the best fit for them, and crochet them together in what I considered the best pattern. However, it still looked pretty bland, I wanted more, so I sewed on some beads to bling up the center of the puffs, and crochet in embroidery thread (which is incredibly hard to do I found!) over the top of the green frilly bit and then did a slip stitch chain to highlight the swirl of the lilac bullion stitch.

I'm pretty pleased with the result, especially for a first attempt.

I do enjoy scrumbling and am in the middle of another set now - I haven't decided on what I'm going to make from it, but I figured, if I just did my own thing and then kept them all in a bag, at some point, they might come in useful. In the meantime, I have a rather interesting phone case to complete and sell. I intend to line it with some kind of matching/complimentary lining, if I said it was mainly because there are so many loose ends for me and my gnat's attention span to concentrate on, would that be a bad thing to say? If it is - then I'm going to line it with a complimentary material because I think it's a necessary addition :p

Ramadan Mubarak

Alhamdulillah (thanks be to God) we made it to Ramadan 2016 or as my trusty Ramadan App tells me - 1 Ramadan 1437.

Ramadan Mubarak (Blessed Ramadan) to all of my wonderful sisters in Islam, we made it, not everyone has, there have been some who were taken before this time, Alhamdulillah the rest of us have another chance to try to win brownie points before we're carted off to our deathly abode - InshAllah (God willing) we shall make it to the end and manage to reap the greatest rewards we can.

I've been waiting for Ramadan this year, with my Imaan (faith) at an all time low, I've been living in dread of becoming one of the Hypocrites as mentioned in the Qur'an many times. I don't want to be left behind, for all my wappy ways, I do have a deep rooted belief. I CANNOT believe there is nothing after this life. To me, a caterpillar has it's life as an egg, then as a caterpillar, a pupa and finally (or maybe not) as a Butterfly. Well, if they can do it - why not us - who's to say there isn't life after death, who's to say, there isn't more after this? I believe there is, and I believe the answers, for me at least, are within the preachings of Islam. Therefore, it's been deeply distressing for me to find that my imaan and my practice have been slipping, and I have struggled daily with myself and my feelings of desolation.

Things aren't easy at the moment in my life, it's just the way it is. In Islam we believe we are tested,

And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the patient, Who says, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”: They are those on whom (descend) Blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance. (Al-Baqarah 2:155-157)

He Who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed: and He is the Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving. (Al-Mulk 67:2)

Whatever misfortune happens to you, is because of the things your hands have wrought, and for many (of them) He grants forgiveness. (Ash-Shura 42:30)

On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray:) "Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Lay not on us a burden Like that which Thou didst lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art our Protector; Help us against those who stand against faith." - 2:286

Sometimes I wonder if I'm strong enough to carry my burdon. I find it terribly difficult to practice as a Muslim when I'm on my own, and then I look at all the other sisters around who are in the same situation as myself - who seem to have few if no problems. My conclusion always swings back to my being weak and I must try harder.

So I've been praying, BEGGING to live long enough to be given the chance to slightly redress the balance inshAllah (God willing) and Alhamdulilah, I have been..
I nearly didn't though. I had promised my son and his partner that I'd visit them on Monday. For some idiotic reason, I had convinced myself that Ramadan MUST be on Tuesday, I was praying for Tuesday, but no, the moon was sighted a few hours ago in Mekka, so Ramadan (for us in the UK) is on Monday - tomorrow, the day I'm driving all the way to Nottingham and back, having been up until 2.30 am trying to ensure I've drunk enough water to carry me through the 19 hour fast. 

I'm happy, because my belief that I'm in a sorry state as far as my Islamic strength is - it's true, I am in a sorry state, but, perhaps not as sorry a state as I believed (alhamdulillah) because the moment, the MOMENT, I heard that the moon had been sighted - I burst into tears, I was absolutely devastated because I'd promised to go to Nottingham and I DESPERATELY didn't want to fail in my Islamic practice. This tells me that my believe is VERY strong, my practice might be lacking, but my believe is strong, so strong that I was completely torn over what to do - fortunately (alhamdulilah) we've sorted out the Nottingham business, and I am free to start my fast alongside all the other fasting Muslims in the world alhamdulilah. 

I know I'm not the best, I know I'm a long long way from being even remotely good as a muslima (lady muslim) , but I AM happy it's Ramadan, I am happy that I burst into tears, and felt so desolate when I heard, it gave me a feeling of strength because it showed me that I am still muslim in my heart and soul, I'm a bit lost at the moment, but my belief is SO strong, I'm praying that I manage to build up my strength again this Ramadan. My soul needs this, I need this, I pray that I will manage to get through this inshAllah (God willing) 

Ramadan Mubarak to all my Brothers and Sisters in Islam, may our efforts be rewarded and our prayers accepted throughout this auspicious month. Ameen <3