Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Argh - The frustration!

I love doing what I do - I'm a Maternity Practitioner, I spend my life moving around living in other people's houses - I get frustrated at the lack of "life" I lead, but I am hoping that one day, I'll be able to pick and chose when I work, being able to have time at home that I can enjoy, but so far, I haven't managed to get my work/life balance how I want it.

The frustration I have with the job is the lack of listening skills of the parent's I work for. It seems to me that I'm employed to do the job, and the parent's expect some magic cure for their child and family to be working in perfect harmony - well, yes, and no! Yes, I can intigrate the baby and family together - which is my job, that's no problem, BUT, I can only do so much - I can't MAKE the baby react to the parent's they way they want it to react if they have so little input!

Take this current position - I've been employed as a night nanny for the last 4 months - the baby is sleeping through the night , he happily does 7.30pm to 6.30am - I'd prefer a full 12 hours - but I finish at 7am so there's little I can do, technically speaking he IS sleeping through. However, when mother had him (for the first time since he's started sleeping through) this weekend - he woke twice, both nights! This is frustrating for the mother, and ultra frustrating for me! It's lovely he's sleeping through for me, but I need to get him sleeping through for his mother.  Apparently she left him to "cry it out" for a while, until she gave up, wrapped him and put him back down. She did right by wrapping him and putting him back down, but why did she leave him to "cry it out" where on earth did she get that idea?! When I questioned it, she said "I thought that was what I was supposed to do!"  - Um, I've never condoned screaming it out - I HAVE discussed with her sleep training methods that I WISH to use during the day to help her settle him throughout the day - I have never left him to cry anything out during the night - the whole idea is to keep him in a dopy state, not to wake up completely and work himself into a frenzy overnight!

I spent a few hours last week, working on and writing out a plan to help sort out the daytime sleeping issues (he refuses to be put down, mother has always held him) I left the plan in the kitchen for the parent's to read while I was away, I asked for the cot toys to be taken down and a chair to be put in the nursery - it hasn't happened, I said I'd start putting him in his cot at night, so he'd learn to sleep there, I came back to find the crib and the changing mat dumped in my room!

The frustration is that the parent's just don't seem to listen to me - perhaps I need to work on my communication skills! I'm sitting in my room waiting to see if mother will ask me to help her when sleep time comes, I wrote in the plan that the baby had to be wrapped and put in the cot at 9am, it's 8.36am - let's see. I also pointed out in the plan that the schedule I'd written had to be adhered to EXACTLY for as long as it takes for the baby to cotton on to what is required of him - first statement from mother was, "we have baby sensory at 2pm, and such a such appointment at this time etc etc - how does that fit into the plan?"  !!!

Well, I can only do so much, it's not my call to help during the day - but if mother wants to be able to put the baby down - she has to accept that the baby WILL cry - and that someone has to be there to do the sleep training, be it me - or her, so far she has not accepted his crying (except in the middle of the night!) so I'm at a loss, I can't do it on my own! For a start - I need a baby to work with !

I have offered to help, I have stepped back to let mum experiment and chose her own way, I can't do more, they either accept or not - I'm not entirely sure what mother wants -  but either way, whatever happens,  it'll be my fault!

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