We spend our lives wandering around trying our best to get on with our lives. I don't think anyone fully intends to go around upsetting people, but sometimes, it just happens. On the whole I think most people are just nice, and want to get along with each other, after all, we're all very much the same inside, and really, wherever we come from is irrelivent - we all just want to live our lives in peace, love and harmony, and just be comfortable with our lot. Ok, there are others on this planet who want considerably more than Got ever intended, and they're a pretty unhappy, and probably unworthy crew, but in the main, we're all just after peace of mind, full of good health and happiness.
I have been struggling with myself these last few weeks, because I deeply offended, and then RE- offended a beautiful friend of mine. It was not my intention, and unfortunately, once the bubble had burst, I couldn't let it go - being a dog to a bone, I had to apologise, and apologise again, but I constantly said the wrong thing, whatever it was, I was very confused and upset by the whole episode, and very quickly found myself out of my depth. The more I apologised, and tried to make things right, the worse I made things, which made ME feel worse, and so I apologised all over again - eventually the situation became unbearable to all concerned, and we parted company in a very distressing manner, with the friend concerned feeling I'd abandoned her in her absolute hour of need and me feeling like something that had been dropped on the pavement, stepped in and scraped all around.
I have no means of contacting this person, who now thinks I'm probably the worst person in the world, but I truly had no intent of hurting her, it happened, and it passed, and I have to live with it. I just have to hope and pray that one day I will be forgiven.
The offshoot to this episode has made me aware that we're none of us who we appear in reality, as much as we'd like to think we are, the cyber world has brought the "devil" out in us. Words, sentances, phrases are all misinturpreted, misconstrued, and innocent words are taken hurtfully, or hateful words are "bandied" around with our over inflated bravery from behind the screen.
We have the misconception that people we meet online are our friends, and whereas we'd normally find friends on the school run, at work or in the social setting, our lives are increasingly being taken over by the internet - our cyber friends - probably someone we've never met, suddenly become incredibly important in our lives, certainly in mine they did. However, after the shock and distress of this latest incident - I have started cutting back on my cyber life. I have realised, that the people I thought I knew, loved and trusted, were - in reality, still relative strangers, so no more for me, I have to move on, and try to build a life for myself away from the internet despite living such a lonely and isolating existance.
My only and deepest regret is that I have lost and deeply hurt a sister and friend when she needed me the most, that I will never forgive myself for, may Allah forgive me.
I have been struggling with myself these last few weeks, because I deeply offended, and then RE- offended a beautiful friend of mine. It was not my intention, and unfortunately, once the bubble had burst, I couldn't let it go - being a dog to a bone, I had to apologise, and apologise again, but I constantly said the wrong thing, whatever it was, I was very confused and upset by the whole episode, and very quickly found myself out of my depth. The more I apologised, and tried to make things right, the worse I made things, which made ME feel worse, and so I apologised all over again - eventually the situation became unbearable to all concerned, and we parted company in a very distressing manner, with the friend concerned feeling I'd abandoned her in her absolute hour of need and me feeling like something that had been dropped on the pavement, stepped in and scraped all around.
I have no means of contacting this person, who now thinks I'm probably the worst person in the world, but I truly had no intent of hurting her, it happened, and it passed, and I have to live with it. I just have to hope and pray that one day I will be forgiven.
The offshoot to this episode has made me aware that we're none of us who we appear in reality, as much as we'd like to think we are, the cyber world has brought the "devil" out in us. Words, sentances, phrases are all misinturpreted, misconstrued, and innocent words are taken hurtfully, or hateful words are "bandied" around with our over inflated bravery from behind the screen.
We have the misconception that people we meet online are our friends, and whereas we'd normally find friends on the school run, at work or in the social setting, our lives are increasingly being taken over by the internet - our cyber friends - probably someone we've never met, suddenly become incredibly important in our lives, certainly in mine they did. However, after the shock and distress of this latest incident - I have started cutting back on my cyber life. I have realised, that the people I thought I knew, loved and trusted, were - in reality, still relative strangers, so no more for me, I have to move on, and try to build a life for myself away from the internet despite living such a lonely and isolating existance.
My only and deepest regret is that I have lost and deeply hurt a sister and friend when she needed me the most, that I will never forgive myself for, may Allah forgive me.
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