Why are the Germans nicer to each other than the English are ?

I have noticed, whilst I've been working out here in Munich, that the Germans really do appear to be a lot nicer and thoughtful towards each other than the English ever appear to be.

I was travelling on the tram the other day, it was hot and sunny for once, and the sun was streaming in through the window - when I embarked on the tram, it was all but empty, and not being a particular sun worshiper - I chose a seat away from the sun. As the journey continued, more people got on , and eventually, people were sitting on the side where the sun burned to a frazzle, anything sitting  on that side of the tram.
An elderly lady with a walking stick got on and sat next to me, another lady, (not quite so elderly) also embarked, and sat in the dreaded sun drenched seat - after a few minutes, the lady who was sitting next to me, nudged a young lady behind us, who promptly gave up her seat for the lady sitting next to me - the one sat on the hot seat then got up and sat next to me! Now I've never seen anything like that before, I would imagine, if that had happened on the underground in England, someone somewhere, would have either been laughed at, shouted at, or flattened - or, more likely, left to cook on the hot seat.

Now, apart from the country being HUGELY cleaner than England - yes, there are occasional blips where you can see rubbish, and I totally abhor dog owners who refuse to pick up after their dogs, but, intermittent belligerence accepting, in the main, Germany appears to be cleaner.
I was wandering around Munich the other day - no small city I hasten to add, and really, there was NO rubbish, I mean, literally no rubbish - I didn't feel dirty wandering around, there were no nasty urine smells coming from doorways, no glass on the ground, no plastic bags, polystyrene cups from coffee shops, nothing! Zilch!

I don't know if that is the reason for all of the kindness shown, but perhaps respect for one's surroundings goes a long way to helping people feel better about themselves, their surroundings and their fellow citizens. Whatever it was, it was a joy to see, and it's not an isolated incident - I have witnessed several occurrences of kindness and thoughtfulness in the six weeks that I've been here.

I don't know why the English can be so aggressive towards each other, not everyone is, I admit that, and throughout my travels I have been told many MANY times that the English are lovely, warm and welcoming to foreigners - perhaps that's what it is - you have to be foreign to be given love in England.

I've recently started knitting again, it's taken me a while to get back on the bandwagon, but working with the twins one of who is now a STOMPING 10 lbs, has too many clothes, the little girl, however, has next to nothing to wear, she's struggling to make 5 lbs at the moment, bless her TINY little cotton socks!
In a fit of despair, during a discussion with the mother, she said she'd willingly commission me to make a cardigan especially for her tiny daughter.
As I'm working in Germany at the moment, I couldn't use any pattern books, in the main because I can't read German, but also, I'd have to lug any patterns back when I returned to the UK, and I've enough junk in my suitcase as it is! So I promptly went onto the BBC Stoke and Stafford Ray of Hope website and found a pretty little cardigan suitable for a baby up to 5 lbs - PERFECT! I copied the pattern and bought some buff coloured wool (mother wanted natural "earthy" colours with a cashmere twist) I found some cashmere baby silk wool, bought whatever else I needed for my mini project and caught the tram back.

I had to fit the knitting in between the care of the twins, the washing, ironing and keeping on top of everything the mother wanted for the twins, but I must say, I'm very pleased with the result. Given the fact that I've not actually PROPERLY knitted anything since the Thomas the Tank Engine jumper I knitted for my Thomas when he was 18 months old (and he's now pushing 23 years!) I can't exactly call myself a pro. knitter, but I tried and I'm happy, with it - the mother is delighted, and put her daughter in it ALL the time, all day and tried most of the nights - she's in the UK at the moment, and had to leave the little girl behind because she's just too small to fly, so I've taken the chance and actually washed the cardigan.

Now that I've got the knitting bug again, what will I do next I wonder, I'll just have to find something that catches my eye. I'm going home in a couple of weeks for a few days - I'll have to look out my knitting/crochet needles, any wool I can find and stuff it all into my suitcase - there'll be NO stopping me after that. Can't wait <3

And the FRUSTRATION sets in!!

Why is it so hard to find a decent pattern and when you do, you can't actually get your hands on it? This is what's happened to me today. For the last couple of weeks I've seen the MOST delightful wrist warmers, REALLY cute, from the magazine Molly's makes - I LOVE them and am desperate to make them. Problem is.......I'm in Germany, and so's the Magazine. I, of course, can't speak or read a word of German, so  I'm kind of snookered. I've looked everywhere online, and can't even get a back copy. I'm really at a loss. Why can't you just buy one magazine online, or a copy of the pattern. It's not that I want the blooming thing for free, I'm happy to pay, but I refuse to pay 50 odd pounds for a subscription that I won't want, and can't afford! :\
What a to do eh

A dreadful misunderstanding

We spend our lives wandering around trying our best to get on with our lives. I don't think anyone fully intends to go around upsetting people, but sometimes, it just happens. On the whole I think most people are just nice, and want to get along with each other, after all, we're all very much the same inside, and really, wherever we come from is irrelivent - we all just want to live our lives in peace, love and harmony, and just be comfortable with our lot. Ok, there are others on this planet who want considerably more than Got ever intended, and they're a pretty unhappy, and probably unworthy crew, but in the main, we're all just after peace of mind, full of good health and happiness.

I have been struggling with myself these last few weeks, because I deeply offended, and then RE- offended a beautiful friend of mine. It was not my intention, and unfortunately, once the bubble had burst, I couldn't let it go - being a dog to a bone, I had to apologise, and apologise again, but I constantly said the wrong thing, whatever it was, I was very confused and upset by the whole episode, and very quickly found myself out of my depth. The more I apologised, and tried to make things right, the worse I made things, which made ME feel worse, and so I apologised all over again - eventually the situation became unbearable to all concerned, and we parted company in a very distressing manner, with the friend concerned feeling I'd abandoned her in her absolute hour of need and me feeling like something that had been dropped on the pavement, stepped in and scraped all around.

I have no means of contacting this person, who now thinks I'm probably the worst person in the world, but I truly had no intent of hurting her, it happened, and it passed, and I have to live with it.  I just have to hope and pray that one day I will be forgiven.

The offshoot to this episode has made me aware that we're none of us who we appear in reality, as much as we'd like to think we are, the cyber world has brought the "devil" out in us. Words, sentances, phrases are all misinturpreted, misconstrued, and innocent words are taken hurtfully, or hateful words are "bandied" around with our over inflated bravery from behind the screen.

We have the misconception that people we meet online are our friends, and whereas we'd normally find friends on the school run, at work or in the social setting, our lives are increasingly being taken over by the internet - our cyber friends - probably someone we've never met, suddenly become incredibly important in our lives, certainly in mine they did. However, after the shock and distress of this latest incident - I have started cutting back on my cyber life. I have realised, that the people I thought I knew, loved and trusted, were - in reality, still relative strangers, so no more for me, I have to move on, and try to build a life for myself away from the internet despite living such a lonely and isolating existance.

My only and deepest regret is that I have lost and deeply hurt a sister and friend when she needed me the most, that I will never forgive myself for, may Allah forgive me.

Life is so confusing, or is it just me?!

I never thought, that at nearly 50 years old, I'd be SO confused with my life. When I was a child, I truly believed people had got themselves in order by the time they were in their 40's because they were, well, OLD! unfortunately, I think my happiest times were when I was in my late 30's early 40's, everything seemed to be going along swimmingly well. I was happily married to a man I loved, I had two of the most gorgeous children, I had a job I was happy in, a nice house, living the "atypical" life of a modern British family. I thought it would last forever, unfortunately, the bubble ALWAYS bursts somewhere, now pushing 50, the bubble burst 5 years ago - and the last few years have been difficult, exciting - I can't deny that one, but also incredibly hard.

About 7 years ago, we commisioned a builder to put an extention onto the side of  our house, just a lounge and utility room, nothing fantastically huge or complex, we also asked if he'd knock down our garage that was attached to the neighbours and build both garages back off the driveway and in the back gardens - fantastic idea, except he was what we call a "Cowboy" builder in England. He did such a slow and dreadful job that come November after 5 months of struggling to cope with his tardiness - I kicked him off site. The problems that followed, were huge and expensive. Apart from all the damage he and his team had done to our house that had to be undone -  he also had the audacity to try to take us to court - when he realised we were not going to give up lightly, he disappeared - leaving us with huge debts and half a house. That aside, having taken out loans to pay for the mounting debts and costs, I then lost my job. I was certain it wouldn't be long before I got another job, so I paid the bills on my credit cards - I had little choice at the time, however, it DID take me a long time, and for a year, I was pushing the credit card limits to full max. Eventually I took my last 300 pounds and trained to become a Maternity Nurse, and that is where I am today.

I've been five years working now, the bills are still massive, I've had the privlige of traveling all over , I've worked in the middle east, London, on the continent and all over Britain. In the main I love my job, but I do tend to get upset, I missed my children, resented my husband and hated the fact that I was so lonely. Yes, I think I can say it's been tough. For the last two years my husband and I have been in the throws of a divorce, it's not in a rush coming, because I don't really know what I want to do, how can you divorce someone you love? When I talk about it to people, I'm asked, why I want the divorce, there's not an easy answer, sometimes I think I can live like this forever, just plodding along, taking each day as it comes, however, I'm getting older and fatter, and less attractive almost daily now, and I'm deeply, DEEPLY unhappy with my life. The relationship between my husband and myself is as friends, it's like living with my brother, he's someone I love deeply, but have no urge to have a sexual relationship with , which is good, because he actually has no desire for a relationship with me - but he loves me too! We are absolutely the best of friends. I want a relationship where I feel loved and wanted, where I feel sexy and needed, I don't feel that in my marriage, I just feel tired, and fat and sluggish.

This is where things are so confusing, I want a divorce, but I'm scared to make the move, I have nowhere else to live, I have no money, so I can't rent a place of my own, I have no friends so I'm better off staying at home, at least I have company, it's all very confusing, I don't know whether I want to be single, married, in a relationship, out of a relationship, living my own life or finding a new one!

I truly didn't think I'd ever be in such a muddle in my 50's , life sucks sometimes, when I'm low, I'm deeply depressed, and just want to hide myself away from the world. Yesterday I had a temper tantrum (very unusual for me) but I shouted and screamed and slammed doors - it didn't particularly help, I was tearful and emotional all day, I wanted to be on my own, but I wanted a hug too - things were said that shouldn't have been said, I regretted it almost instantly, because, even though he's like a brother to me, my husband doesn't deserve the sharp edge of my tongue. He asked me today "What do you want? one minute you're telling me I don't see you, I don't look at you , I don't communicate with you, and the next  you're saying, 'you don't give me flowers!' "   My husband feels he can't win. I feel I can't win. Life is SO confusing, I wish I could just be one of those incredibly organised people who knows EXACTLY where their life is heading, and not this confused, jumble of a person who hasn't a clue from one day to the next what she's doing.!

Argh - The frustration!

I love doing what I do - I'm a Maternity Practitioner, I spend my life moving around living in other people's houses - I get frustrated at the lack of "life" I lead, but I am hoping that one day, I'll be able to pick and chose when I work, being able to have time at home that I can enjoy, but so far, I haven't managed to get my work/life balance how I want it.

The frustration I have with the job is the lack of listening skills of the parent's I work for. It seems to me that I'm employed to do the job, and the parent's expect some magic cure for their child and family to be working in perfect harmony - well, yes, and no! Yes, I can intigrate the baby and family together - which is my job, that's no problem, BUT, I can only do so much - I can't MAKE the baby react to the parent's they way they want it to react if they have so little input!

Take this current position - I've been employed as a night nanny for the last 4 months - the baby is sleeping through the night , he happily does 7.30pm to 6.30am - I'd prefer a full 12 hours - but I finish at 7am so there's little I can do, technically speaking he IS sleeping through. However, when mother had him (for the first time since he's started sleeping through) this weekend - he woke twice, both nights! This is frustrating for the mother, and ultra frustrating for me! It's lovely he's sleeping through for me, but I need to get him sleeping through for his mother.  Apparently she left him to "cry it out" for a while, until she gave up, wrapped him and put him back down. She did right by wrapping him and putting him back down, but why did she leave him to "cry it out" where on earth did she get that idea?! When I questioned it, she said "I thought that was what I was supposed to do!"  - Um, I've never condoned screaming it out - I HAVE discussed with her sleep training methods that I WISH to use during the day to help her settle him throughout the day - I have never left him to cry anything out during the night - the whole idea is to keep him in a dopy state, not to wake up completely and work himself into a frenzy overnight!

I spent a few hours last week, working on and writing out a plan to help sort out the daytime sleeping issues (he refuses to be put down, mother has always held him) I left the plan in the kitchen for the parent's to read while I was away, I asked for the cot toys to be taken down and a chair to be put in the nursery - it hasn't happened, I said I'd start putting him in his cot at night, so he'd learn to sleep there, I came back to find the crib and the changing mat dumped in my room!

The frustration is that the parent's just don't seem to listen to me - perhaps I need to work on my communication skills! I'm sitting in my room waiting to see if mother will ask me to help her when sleep time comes, I wrote in the plan that the baby had to be wrapped and put in the cot at 9am, it's 8.36am - let's see. I also pointed out in the plan that the schedule I'd written had to be adhered to EXACTLY for as long as it takes for the baby to cotton on to what is required of him - first statement from mother was, "we have baby sensory at 2pm, and such a such appointment at this time etc etc - how does that fit into the plan?"  !!!

Well, I can only do so much, it's not my call to help during the day - but if mother wants to be able to put the baby down - she has to accept that the baby WILL cry - and that someone has to be there to do the sleep training, be it me - or her, so far she has not accepted his crying (except in the middle of the night!) so I'm at a loss, I can't do it on my own! For a start - I need a baby to work with !

I have offered to help, I have stepped back to let mum experiment and chose her own way, I can't do more, they either accept or not - I'm not entirely sure what mother wants -  but either way, whatever happens,  it'll be my fault!

How DARE they!

This morning I'm just so upset - I'm not a particularly good muslim, I try to follow the five pillars, but I'm not that fantastic at it. It's easy to be lazy and complacent I guess. I don't even partularly eat halal meats, I've been slated many a time in the past for this, but my argument is that, with my lifestyle, it's just too darn complicated - maybe I'm making excuses, but that's how I am, I do TRY to eat halal whenever it's available, I do eat a lot of vegetarian dishes, but I MISS meat, my body craves meat intermittently, and so, if no halal food is readily available, I eat non halal.
HOWEVER, my two BIG no - no's are alcohol and pork, for all my failings, I will not touch those two, there have been intermittent "accidents" in the past - for which I've been deeply distressed, but never before have I come across such NASTINESS!
I work with a family at the moment, they're lovely, I work only nights, but I live in with the family - now, after last night -  if I had the choice, I'd move out and live on my own! Mother has gone off to America for a few days, so Father is caring for the baby, and Grandma and Grand dad have come down to help, I'm still just doing the nights, but I loiter in case I'm needed (not that I ever am) Grand mother cooks dinner, I have offered to cook, but it's always been declined - yesterday , I offered to cook, but she said there was some chicken in the fridge that needed using up. I've already said - I don't always eat halal, so I didn't think anything of it, I tended to eat my evening meal with the family, so I went upstairs to my room and left them to it - saying they were to call me if I was needed at all.
I was presented with a meal of stuffed pasta and breaded chicken with a sauce and carrots - I sat and ate it with everyone, the baby was mithering, so Dad and I rushed our meals, him - so he could bath the baby, me - so I could prepare for the night, I didn't really think about my food, it was just food, wasn't particularly pleasant or unpleasant, it just went down.  However, over night I felt yucky, and I couldn't stop mithering over what I'd eaten, I just KNEW something wasn't quite right!
This morning, I came down to wash the bottles as per normal, and - as usual, I was the first one down, my NIGGLES came back as I was finishing breakfast, so I did a quick rummage through the bin - to my HORROR - I found the packaging for last night's dinner - yes, it was breaded chicken, but it was CLEARLY labeled homogonised, reconstituted chicken/pork mix! My heart sank, delving deeper into the bin I found the pasta packaging, again, mixed meat - containing pork! The reason I couldn't pick it out was because it wasn't a full pork product, and it was all reconstituted, so I couldn't even see it was pork! I am devastated at this BLATENT  disregard to my beliefs. I feel sick to my stomach, and from this moment on I will not eat meat with the families I work for.